I found this great article over at Purpose Power Coaching
Why does it seem that the bar for what we must do to “deserve” what we want just keeps rising higher and higher? I suspect it’s because, when we fret about whether we have the right to do something, we’re really just giving voice to our fear of doing it. We can’t “earn” our way out of this dilemma, because doing or accomplishing more doesn’t really address our fear.
At the deepest level, it seems to me, what’s motivating my friend’s concern about finishing her book is fear — perhaps, for instance, a fear that people will ridicule or shame her for writing her book — not a desire to behave morally. As psychologistKaren E. Peterson writes in The Tomorrow Trap, “shame is the true source of your ‘impostor syndrome’ — the feeling that you don’t have the right to make healthy decisions, to express yourself creatively, or to fulfill your dreams.” But it feels more comfortable for my friend, and for the rest of us, to tell ourselves we’re trying to be right and ethical than to admit we’re afraid.